Ugly Scenes in Cottesloe: Man Adds Ice To His Pint of Beer

10 November 2013, 4:20pm 

A horrific scene of un-Australianism has erupted at a popular bar located on Cottesloe beach this afternoon, when a local man, Charlie Daniels, buckled under the pressure of the 38 degree heat and added a couple of ice cubes to his pint of Carlton Draught.

Naturally, Daniel's mates took immediate offence to the unorthodox decision to add ice to beer. However, a German tourist, Hans Gunten, who was sitting near Daniels took particular offence to the scene, told The Bell Tower Times:
"Oh mein gott (oh my god), what a sacrilege to the fine tradition of beer. If he wanted watery beer why not order an American Budweiser yah? In Germany, he would be laughed our of the Beer Hall, it is the [brat]worst thing I've ever seen".
Daniels was observed sipping his pint and being noticeably repulsed by the watery beer that had been caused by the a scientific process known as dilution and some shit to do with the density of the beer compared to the water (the top was watery).

The Bell Tower Times was on the scene to take this exclusive statement from Daniels:
"I'm pretty embarrassed  A couple of cute backpackers were giggling at me and one raised her little finer to indicate I had a tiny, flaccid cock. I suppose I deserved it. I ruined my beer, pissed off a German and was humiliated by my mates. To make matters worse, my girlfriend bought me the next round, a glass of chardonnay with a tampon on the side, as the kids say... fuck my life".
If you want your beer to stay cold, order a middie, drink it faster or take a good hard look at yourself.

4 Readers Comments:

  • Shrieking Wombat Ninja says:
    November 10, 2013 at 5:32 PM

    And you don't want to go pissing-off Germans. Just ask Poland.

  • Anonymous says:
    November 11, 2013 at 9:55 PM

    He wasn't even drinking beer to start with?! :P

  • Anonymous says:
    November 28, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    Only hole in that story is the presumption you can actually get a carlton draught in Cottlesloe. It's all boutiquey crap in Cottlesloe.

  • The Bell Tower Times says:
    November 28, 2013 at 3:06 PM

    Thankyou for being concerned with our holes. However, there is more than one pub in Cott ;)

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