Crayg faced one of the hardest decisions of his life this morning after assessing the condition of his favourite Bintang singo. He got this bad boy over 12 years ago and it has been the cornerstone of his wedding formal wear ever since.
Alas, the hard decision to downgrade the garb to “smart casual” was made due to a combination of fading, moth holes, and the unmistakable stain of blood mixed with Masterfoods BBQ sauce remains soaked into the fabric. We spoke to Crayg who was holding back tears,
“It was me, rock mate, I’ve been through so much with that singo. It fits so well too. Doesn’t hug me bourbon gut like some of the new ones and shows just enough of my full back southern cross tattoo. I’ll be gutted not to wear that to me mum’s 5th wedding later this month”
While Crayg takes responsibility for the decision not all are convinced it was his true desire. His brother who was wearing a 13-year Bintang singlet with the original spunk mark left after his first rub-n-tug told The Times that it was Crayg’s misso Kissandrah. Adding,
“She came into some money after a redundancy of her FIFO gig. Thinks she’s all fancy now. Extra Pandora trinkets and suddenly Craygo’s top singlet isn’t good enough anymore. I told him to cut her loose he doesn’t need that negativity in his loife”
Kissandrah denies influencing Crayg’s decision and maintains that with the “serious 4 figure sum” she got paid they could fly to Bali to buy a whole wardrobe of fresh ones. Adding,
“It’s what caught me eye 12 years ago at Liquids. He’d just finished dealing with some Mandurah boys on an unsuccessful Rocko run and the way that singlet moulded to his sweaty rig. It was love at first sight. It’s time to let go but”
Crayg is currently parading around his backyard in his 2nd favourite Bintang singo that has now been given the tough role as his new formal wear. He told The Times,
“It just doesn’t have as much character ya know. I think the best story I have is when I used it as a temporary bandage after roasting my leg on a scooter ha ha. Still has some of that ooze on it so that’s something I guess. Still not the same”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
