REPORT: Bad Day To Be A Tall Bloke With Bleached Hair

As the Flagmantle supporter base get ready to destroy their vocal cords booing Rory Lobb, the WA Police have warned the tall, bleached hair community that they could get caught in the crossfire.

A spokesperson for the WA Police told The Times,

“We have been monitoring social media and it’s pretty clear what is going to happen. Freo have it out for their salty ex-forward and they are going to really give it to him. We can’t guarantee the safety of tall blokes with god awful hair during this time” 

While some say your average tall, bleached lad is safe, others say that at the height of the Lobb booing-frenzy anyone could be fair game. A supporter told The Times,

“You have to understand it’s personal for us. He bad mouthed the club. Salty kent. So to prove we weren’t even saltier we even got a special beer brewed haha. Lobster tears, get it. HE’S THE SALTY ONE”

Sadly, a young man has already copped a mouthful after being incorrectly identified by a mob of Flagmantle drunks in Freo today. He told The Times,

“I was just going for a walk and these guys kept asking me why I couldn’t kick for shit. Told me Freo was happy to see the back of me and they are going to destroy me tonight. I was just trying to get some artisan bread!”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?