One doesn’t simply rise to the top of the mid-tier business hierarchy by throwing out wet fishes to people one meets. This is the advice that John wants to impart on the younger generation.
Simply put, a handshake is less of a pleasantry and more of a war. A battle that he wages every day with anyone wishing to do business with him. You haven’t done a deal with John unless you walk away wondering if he just fractured a bone in your hand.
When we spoke to John he was monstering a grip master – a device that he said gave him the competitive edge in the hand crushing game. He told The Times,
“I don’t care if you’re a man, woman or kid, you grab my hand and you’re going to feel the full force of Johnny boy”
He reached his hand out to give a live demo of why he calls himself the boardroom python. Latching on and refusing to let go until he was satisfied with the level of grimacing. He continued,
Let me tell you a story, the day I made my first $100k I nearly hospitalised a guy after the negotiation. I heard he has ongoing numbness issues in his thumb. That what I call doing business”
Not everyone is a fan of John’s tactics however. We met a Tim who sold John a secondhand car for his daughter to use. He recounted the meeting,
“What the hell is with this guy? First he lowballs the shit out of me and when I gave in he called me a good girl. After that he shook my hand. If you could call it that. I was just thinking why is this dude trying to break my hand? What have I done to wrong him?”
We asked John if he had any other advice for people hoping to succeed in business. He told us,
“Call every girly you meet sweetheart and make sure you open the door for em. That way you can get a good look at what they are packing in the boot. That’s why females find me so charming mate”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
