Perth fam looking forward to a relaxing 4 days of heaving crowds, stress and traffic jams this Easter

A WA family can’t wait to dive ballsdeep into their Easter long weekend in what will no doubt be a horror show of stressful fast-cationing in an overcrowded and unpleasant company.

Tom has managed to wrangle a half day Thursday so will need everyone ready to fkn go the minute he gets back from work at 1 pm.

Alas, Jenny also has work so will be relying on the grandparents to make sure the kids haven’t smeared shit up & down the walls on Thursday arvo.

Should Mission Impossible: 1 go off without a hitch, the family then has the pleasure of banging it down south with every other cunny and his dog looking to beat the Friday morning rush. Ironically, making the Thursday arvo rush just as bad.

If that wasn’t enough, the couple who haven’t had a chance to unwind from getting all their work shit done on a short week will be enjoying the pleasures of trying to find a parking spot at every vineyard they go to, waiting approximately 30 minutes for every coffee and of course, dodging the projectile vomit of party bus people.

After 3 days of wall-to-wall fuckery Douth they’ll get the privilege of coming back home on Monday in conditions that were arguably worse than Thursday arvo.

Not only will the roads be blocked up like a Paleo devotee’s bumhole but everyone will be extra pissed off for being in the same boat.

God damn it sounds good. Which no doubt that the family’s happy snaps will show. With the wife no doubt uploading various photos to IG with captions like “how lucky are we?”.

Doesn’t stop there though, then the family will get to enjoy all the pleasure of getting ready to resume life on Tuesday while simmering in the hotpot of frustration. What could possibly go wrong!

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?