Gosnells Easter Egg Hunt Goes Horribly Wrong After Kid Looks In Wrong Drawer 

A family catch-up on Easter Saturday has quickly become a shemozzle of immeasurable proportions after the hosts treated the kids in attendance to a little chocolate egg hunt around their Gosnells property. 

In their haste to get ready for the day, Karlton forgot to close & lock the door of his “man cave” which in this context is a glorified term for a spare room in the house that perpetually smells like narcotics, feet, and just a hint of FHM girly posters from 1997 that proudly plaster the wall. 

Similarly, Becckardi forgot to make it clear the couple’s bedroom was off-limits. These two fateful mistakes would lead to an awkward situation when the exploring kids returned to the adults who were sitting down for brunch 30 minutes later. 

One child reportedly held up a pink egg. Confused that it wasn’t covered in the usual foil and had a slightly off-putting aroma. A witness at the gathering told The Times,

“Jesus, I mean, Christ almighty. No one really knew what to do. Becckardi jumped up and grabbed the toy and told them it was for her sore back. I’ll never forget the look on the grandparent’s faces though”

To make matters worse, another child bounded in with a few chocolate eggs and a smaller, misshapen green object. Much like the egg, stinking potently through the living room. The witness continued,

“Yeah, he’d found a nug lol. You could tell Karlton didn’t really give a shit. He was more concerned with what *else* the kid may’ve picked up. It was pretty funny, these two completely cooked this egg hunt”

We can also report that Karlton swiftly searched every kid’s pocket to make sure the little turds hadn’t made off with any more of his secret herbs or icy spices. He told The Times,

“Turns out we didn’t kid-proof the home ha ha. Becc’s sister is spewin’ mate, I told her to have a can of bourbon and calm the fark down. She told me it was 9:30 am. Like that’s supposed to mean something to me”

At the time of publishing this article, the children’s hands are being thoroughly disinfected. 

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