Grand Final viewer can’t believe he missed out on a day of herding his disgusting kids around an overpriced Royal Show for *that*

A Perth father could barely believe his own thought process today as he started salivating over the idea of herding his disgusting crotch goblins around the Royal Show rather than watch the pathetic effort by the Swans.

These strange and confusing emotions hit at around the 20 minute mark of the first quarter. When he’d realised he’d already committed to the day and the 6 beer load had ruled out any better activity.

We spoke to Cam who was ranting about the Swans “owing him” another Grand Final. He told The Times,

“I could’ve gone to that bloody show today and missed all the crowds. Instead, I was treated to the worst GF in recent memory and I’ll have to take my little ferals to the show tomorrow when it’ll be absolutely slammed. Why does God hate me?”

By half time, Cam even considered the joys of washing sugar-induced puke from his Ford AU upholstery to be a dream compared to the absolute snoozefest this GF amounted to. He continued,

“Don’t get me wrong I hate the show but at least it’d make me feel something. Maybe I’ll head into Northbridge to see a group of men actually put up a fight”

Cam is now in the process of rewatching the 2006 Eagles GF and slowly drinking away the memories of completely pissing his day away. It’s not much but it’s honest work. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?