The Rotto Swim is all about endurance. For a few thousand well oiled machines that means putting their bodies to the test in a gruelling 19.7km open ocean swim. For others, that means competing to see who can behave in the most Western Suburbian way while sinking piss on an island all day. 

For an elite group however it’s all about securing a RCSA licence plate for completing a solo cross successfully. 

It is theorised that displaying a RCSA plate makes you 85% better than everyone else on the mainland. Even surpassing the coveted Barbagallo plate’s 65% bump in feelings of superiority. 

To say it’s a hectic day is an understatement. Try to imagine the boat related mayhem on a normal sunny day in Perth. Now imagine every weekend warrior in Perth answering the call of the Rotto Swim weekend. There will be insurance claim blood.

As mentioned, there are probably 95% of the Western Suburbs residents on the island this weekend. Which is an absolute nightmare for bouncers not wanting to be told they’ll be getting fired for not letting some drunk turd with a family-ring into the pub. 

Accordingly, it’s also the biggest day of the year for Insta-models. They have arguably put in the most training for the event with a big summer of pretending to like snobby boat owners to secure their place on this day of days. 

It is strongly advised to make sure you don’t wash your registration number off your arm before partying. They serve as a beacon to all the cougars that have been froffing over Speedo pics while getting utterly champagne’d. 

It’s your best chance for a Mrs Robinson moment with a woman who keeps her au pair’s passport locked up in her safe “just in case”. A very important rite of passage in a young elite’s life. 

Of course, the day wouldn’t be complete until the Rotto streets run chunky with spew and all the exaggerated shark sightings start streaming in on the news. 

For more – Mr Rotto Swim