Woman Judging School Leavers Relieved Social Media Wasn’t Around When She Did the Same

Bayswater woman Simone has had a busy couple of days being outraged at footage of school leavers having the audacity to act like school leavers. 

Her message to these unruly youths is simple – “how dare you do the same things I did 40 years ago!” 

Simone’s husband told The Bell Tower Times,

“Yeah, I reckon Simmy is pretty relieved we didn’t have phones with cameras and all these fandangled social media when we were doing it. Ha ha, ask her about how we met, it was during a threesome ha ha!”

Simone declined to comment on the appalling allegation. Instead, too busy getting worked up by the constant reporting by The West. She told us,

“It’s different! Back in my day, a nudie run wasn’t some doped-up salacious thing it was wholesome! It’s perverse these days! Also the wacky tobaccy back then isn’t like it is today, all laced up with the silk road! These kids should be imprisoned!”

Simone’s friend regaled us with another story from their post-graduation celebrations, 

“We didn’t call her the queen of cream for nothing hehe. Simmy always loved the nangs but they were good clean nangs not like the ones these kids are doing today. I have my first ‘experimentation’ with Simm after an 18-hour booze n nang bender. Not to mention the bikes we stole and road off the jetty”

By this stage, Simone was too angry to even talk. Photos of teenagers snorting white powder had emerged. She angrily snapped,

“18-hour alcohol and nang benders were different back then! I can’t believe you even think these two things are comparable!!! These children should stop spending so much time protesting the weather and go to rehab!! Look WHITE POWDER!”

By the sounds of it, Simone is very lucky she wasn’t born in the generation who can’t seem to stop themselves filming their shenanigans. Put the cameras down kids. Simone, get some rest.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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