What do you think people say when they see my Bali photoshoots and Instagram ads? They say, “yas kween, killin’ it, she’s the next Jen Hawkins, except thinner”. Obviously, you’re still basic and gross, so, like, here are some ways you can be less gross until you find the kind of success I have! Hehe 😛 x

Inspirational Quotes about Hustling

Only successful people post inspirational quotes, everyone knows that. I like to take old, lame old ones and make them my own :P. Make sure enough inspiration is showing out the sides of your bikini and then post ambiguously about hustling! People will automatically assume you are building your brand ;).

Other People’s Money

OK, so, like, if you were born poor maybe stop reading and go get a job at Supre lol, this advice isn’t for you. If you are born blessed however you are always 6 degrees of separation away from someone with nice things.

Before I was slaying life, I uploaded a few photos sitting in my dad’s Audi, do you think my followers ever doubted I owned that car? Um, no way, hustler’s ambition, babes.

@’ing Brands on Instagram

People get so caught up with what “being sponsored” actually means. Why wait for a brand to notice you, when you can do them a favour by @’ing them on your gram posts?

Don’t listen to the haters that say this simply makes you a “customer”, it doesn’t. Just think about it as practice for when you have a lucractive diarrhoeah tea contract like me. Nothing sad about that ;).

Your Tribe

Ask yourself, “what are my friends doing for me”. Really ask yourself. Do they have nice things? Do they have beach houses? Do they know any AFL players that you can hitch a financial ride off?

If the answer is no, cut them loose, sis! You are never going to get a feature photo in STM hanging around unfashionable losers. You won’t even think about all the memories you had with your former “friends” once you start going to grand openings of pop-up bars.

AfterPay

OH EM GEE. AfterPay has made things so fab for influencers. I remember the old days where you’d need to offer sexual favours for every little thing you wanted.

Well, now, you can just buy flights, clothes & make-up on AfterPay, and give some sugar to a businessman at the Raffles in 6 weeks time. Buy now, blow later, babe. Sahhhh efficient.

OMG, some major brand I’m totally affiliated with is late with my fee, would you mind lending me some money for some Chobani?

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