Man who watched 22 games this season suddenly an expert analyst ahead of Brownlow vote

To say that Charlie watched 22 games would be overstating the truth somewhat. In reality, it was more like half-watched 22 games. Nevertheless, he has come booming from the gates as an expert analyst ahead of Sunday’s Brownlow Medal vote. 

Proof of the eating is in his shit-pudding and he’s been smearing that pud all over several group chats this week. A source close to Charlie told The Times,

“If I’m being honest I don’t think Charlie has a clue. He keeps making these wild predictions for who will get 3 votes each round but I have no idea what he’s basing it on”

Charlie however refutes all claims that he’s a textbook nuffie stating that he’s “done the maths” on all his tips, telling The Times,

“I have a pretty intricate system, mate, can’t give too much away because frankly I should be getting paid for these tips. Let’s just say I’m a closet statistician”

An awkward silence fell over the room as an overpowering atmosphere of disbelief built. He then continued unprompted,

“Look at round 6. Richmond v Melbourne. Langdon paying 11 for 3 votes when he CLEARLY had the better game. Absolute rort mate, absolute rort”

We spoke to Charlie’s brother who warned anyone listening to not take heed of his boneheaded bro’s advice. Adding,

“He didn’t watch that game. Don’t listen to him. Please don’t listen to him. He picks up random shit from nuffie dick heads on Twitter and Big Footy and passes them off as his own analysis. Clay got 41 touches that game and is paying 1.01 ffs”

Nevertheless, Charlie has put his money where his mouth is so to speak and has made a series of ill-informed bets. Donating straight to the purple bank, as it were. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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