Perth boy Liam has sent shockwaves through his social circle after he moved back from Melbs recently and fancies himself somewhat of a fancyman. Not all his mates have handled his new energy well.
One of his first catch-ups with mates happened last night. They had arranged to head to the pub to catch up on old times and sink a few pints. What they saw shocked them to the core. His friend Callum told The Times,
“What a shitcunt, he lived there for 6 months and came waltzing back into Perth with a fancyman jacket, exposed ankles, and dress shoes. To the fkn pub mate. He wouldn’t stop talking about the power of layers and how living in Melbs taught him that layers were everything. Oh did I mention what was around his fkn neck?”
Callum was too distraught to continue. His mate bravely took over after shaking himself out of a 1000 km stare into the friend abyss. Johnno told The Times,
“It was a scarf. Not a footy scarf but a baby blue cashmere scarf. He joked that he was probably going to get bashed for wearing it and called Perth a bunch of jealous haters. I told him he’d overstayed his welcome back in Perth”
Liam however remains defiant. Saying his mates just can’t handle a little fashion & culture. He passionately pleaded his case saying how much more puss he gets when he’s dressed nicely. However, one couldn’t help but notice how much he was sweating wearing all that Melbs winter shit.
A former Perth flame said she no longer had any interest in Liam. Especially after he made a big song and dance of ordering a “parma” and a “pot” for dinner. She continued,
“The Liam we all knew and loved was dead. In his place, a mighty shit-Pheonix had risen from the ashes. He was insufferable. Kept remarking on every guy in the pub dressing like shit. He even popped the collar up on his wanker-coat like Luther when we left the pub. It was like 23 degrees still”
Needless to say, Liam is now on the lookout for a new group of friends after being given his marching orders after refusing to concede Perth Stadium is as good as the MCG.
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