Daryl is a living case study of the ill-effects of prolonged exposure to buck bongs,  Zeitgeist documentaries and memes shared by the biggest turd in the pseudo-scientific salad bowl: David “Avocado” Wolfe.

He has selflessly taken a break from his important work on WHATYOUNEEDTOKNOWABOUTCHEMTRAILS.org to inform his suburb’s Facebook community on big-Cellular’s plan to turn our brains into cancerous cup-of-soups in the microwave of the 5G network.

He posts a link to an article by an author who cherry picks findings from studies he doesn’t really understand. Not content with loosening the anal canal of misinformation, Daryl decides to emit some radiation of his own and drops this atomic truth bomb:

“SOON the powers that [beam] will be rolling out 5G into OUR community!! This will be catoSTROPHIC! Just ask the birds in the [Never]lands (HOLLAND) that fell from the sky after [beam] EXPOSED to 5G DEATHRAYS!!!! Birds are JUST the start!”

Thankfully, with the advance of dishonesty & dumbcuntery, Snopes.com was founded for these very deposits of festering fake news. They debunked that particular scaremongering quickly. Although, if you ask Daryl, Snopes is clearly “in on it”, whatever “it” is.

Daryl was far from done. He was on a mission to emit ionising waves of wokeness and wouldn’t stop until the tumour of truth began growing in your minds. After some pro-radiator asked Daryl why he wasn’t concerned about other sources of radiation, like the sun, he decided to bring out the big guns.

He posted a two-headed fish meme with some unverified bullshit about the mutated mackerel being caught near a 5G “small cell”. Al foil crinkles as he furiously makes his case,

“In 2018 studies showed 5G gave cancer to every rat that was exposed to a phone call!!!! And YEP that was the ONLY study not RAYed for by big cellular! Ha Ha funny you mention the SUN did u no the Chinese also manipulate that? Weather control – or are you asleep to that too?”

No, it didn’t.

Daryl is now sounding a few peer reviews short of a credible study. As always, misunderstanding is the weak glue that fails to keep the crackpot stable. Nevertheless, Daryl isn’t just a scribe of psychotic ramblings, he’s also a man of action.

He rounds up the three men who look like they’d penetrate a farm animal and arms them with some bolt cutters – their mission? To drive around the streets and take down every antenna they deem to be a 5G “small cell”.

He lets rip a mighty battle cry, “gentlemen, this is the only way to stop COVID-19, we must take down 5G!

While the remainder of society enjoys faster mobile internet, Daryl will most likely be in a cell of his own. Awaiting charges of vandalism and well, that stuff with the animals at that Pickering Brook hobby farm… Maybe that was a cheap jab, and you know how Daryl would feel about jabs.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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