Natural Born Mummy- Throwing a Coronavirus Party

While discussing my 5 year chakra goals with my Yogi I realised that the new-age-health of my children was so important to me. My Yogi asked me if I was doing everything I could to protect my children, and I realised I wasn’t; they hadn’t developed a natural immunity to COVID-19 yet.

Sure, I fed my little balls of stardust 10 times the recommended dose of activated Goji berries, but was that enough? So, taking lessons from my successful chickenpox parties, I decided to throw a COVID-19 party.

Finding the Guest of Honour

Thanks to Government quarantine, COVID’ers are quite hard to get at in Australia. BIG GOVERNMENT’s selfishness and “medicine” was once again putting my little bub-bubs at harm. I almost gave up until I read a report on a social media page that someone blessed with COVID-19 was breaking self-quarantine and walking around the neighbourhood.

I selflessly took my own children to meet this beautiful man, who had the gift of natural immunity. It wasn’t easy avoiding the judgmental stares of neighbours, but once inside his cough palace, my kids gave this celestial being a big hug! Like a beautiful butterfly, the virus shed its containment cacoon and flew straight into my children’s hearts (and blood system).

Sharing is Caring

Luckily, COVID-19 is extremely contagious, so all I had to do was invite my yoga groups mummies to bring their little cherubs over and play with my children as they lay weak in their bed. They were transitioning from sick to immune, the way nature intended.

A mummy asked me how I could be sure that their kids would also contract the virus, and I assured her, that with the level of aura-evacuation coming from my kid’s bowels, it was almost guaranteed. One mummy even encouraged her little angel to make faeces castles with the others, what a cute and effective way of contracting COVID-19.

The Results

Nature has a funny little way of surprising you, as it turns out my kids failed to contract the virus from the patient. However, they did manage to pick it up from me! As I refused to be a prisoner in my own country!

I only realised the day after the Party when my kids showed the obvious signs. I was blessed to give all my soul-mummas a call that day, “guess what, your kids have received a gift” We cried tears of joy.

I really can’t comment anymore until after the DCP investigation, but if you know anyone who is currently shedding the Polio or Measals virus, drop me a line! Gotta collect them all! Namaste.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?


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