Local park bins across the state are bracing for impact as hordes of seafood aficionados make the pilgrimage to avoid having to store the stinking matter in their own bins.
If there was anything in this world that didn’t need a tougher time, it’s certainly a park bin.
It goes without saying that the humble park bin doesn’t have the easiest plight in the world, For most of the year, it cops bag after bag of dogshit with the occasional discarded picnic spread.
So you can only imagine their horror on Xmas day afternoon when their contents get truly grim.
We spoke to a local dad who had several large garbage bags full of prawn, crab, cray bits and was making his son make a beeline for his local reserve. He told The Times,
“We thank these park bins for their service. It’s hard to comprehend the smell but it’s their time to shine. I told my son that if a single prawn shell is found in my bin I’ll reverse over all his presents”
A spokesperson for the Association of Park Bins said its members understood the burden during this time of the year. Adding,
“This is their Normandy. Everyone one of these brave soldiers understand what’s coming but go out there and do their job anyway. Rangers can patrol as much as they can but there is going to be some fishy atrocities committed all over the state”
May the Lord forgive us for what we do to our humble park bins.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
