Perth Cultural Centre Steps To Feature In Next Ninja Warrior Season 

Perth Cultural Centre’s infamous steps have been causing chaos to the average Perf stride since their inception. Now, they are getting their respect as one of the most challenging obstacles in the next Ninja Warrior season. 

The structure sits somewhere between an accessway between two unlevel planes and an amphitheatre. No one really knows what the designer was thinking. 

A serial PICA Bar lurker and people watcher explained to The Times the joy of seeing a greenhorn tackle the steps for the first time,

“See, they have their coffee and think it’s going to be some garden variety gradual descent to the bottom. Wrong. You soon see the confusion in their eyes as they reassess their walking strategy to accommodate the unconventional length of the steps, I love it”

Course design specialists query whether the decision to incorporate the concrete structure is a “step” too far. A leading specialist told The Times,

“These aren’t your grandmother’s stairs. These are the real deal. Spaced out just enough to feel like you could clear each step in one motion but then making you realise it’s a two-step operation for all but the lankiest units”

As speed is the main goal in Ninja Warrior, the contestants will most likely try to build the momentum to reach each step in one stride. However, one miscalculation and you’ll be getting a root canal from Dr Brick in no time. 

Other contestants may fancy some footwork and scurry up & down the steps like some kind of inconvenienced tap dancer. It’s too early to tell which strategy will prove most effective. 

A Perth woman who is hopeful of qualifying for the next Ninja Warrior has been training the stairs daily and gave The Times a small insight into her training philosophy,

“I leave my house late to get my train on time, so there is no room for error, if I don’t successfully single bang each step on my way to the traino I’m going to miss that bad boy. It’s how I’ll conquer it on national telly”

Finally, Perth getting the respect it’s due. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

$