A Perth man has desperately pleaded his case this morning after coworkers demanded to know why he thought he was better than everyone. His crime? He’d failed to make a post about the great Perth fog last night.
Not only did he fail to produce evidence of being creeped out by the fog, he even failed to describe it as “eerie”. A coworker who was part of the inquisition told The Times,
“It’s a relatively uncommon weather event. When you come from Perth you froff over that. No excuse. We always thought he was weird. Often brings up the blues & maroons. Fog sounds like something a filthy New South Welshman would be used to, doesn’t it?”
Another coworker who had posted a 13-picture story on the weather event went even further,
“It’s almost like he doesn’t accept his Perth duty to document slightly interesting weather events. For a long time, there wasn’t much going on in Perth so we really leaned into the weather. Now we have Coldplay coming but that doesn’t negate the duty”
The Perth man who we have chosen to name, (Alex), insists that he would’ve certainly creamed himself over the great Perth fog if he’d known but was ballsdeep in a Succession bender and fell asleep.
A reasonable excuse if it was refuted by his misso who snitched him out big time. She told The Times,
“He isn’t able to piss in a toilet. He says it’s unnatural and refers to each time he has to go as a donation to the lemon tree. He was certainly outside during the great Perth fog. Even had far more splashback than usual. Indicating trouble seeing. He knew and he did nothing”
Much like the fog, the plot thickens. Lucky for Alex, there will be some weather today that he can almost certainly document and redeem himself.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?