When deciding how to immortalise our city in “big thing” form we have to ask ourselves, what are we famous for? Ideally they’d just bring back the PERTH sign or the big goonbag but that doesn’t seem to be happening. So, let’s have a look at the big players.
Two bricks – an ode to Perth’s untamable desire for double brick housing. It’s the WA dream to brick that bad boy up the wazoo despite living in a climate that turns it into a pizza oven every summer. More on the double brick life HERE.
Burley footy – people like to believe in this mythical “AFL” but we all know it’s WAFL v VFL (with some other bullshit thrown in). So why not pay our respects to the PROPER footy to use? Sherrin can get a fat Burley up it. Why wouldn’t you want a ball built for the perfect torp? More HERE.
Petrol pump – a tribute to Perth’s mighty sprawl and the excessive amount of driving many of us undertake each day as we commute from our little slice of sprawlin’ paradise. Everyone likes a long thing infra-fuck-ture on the daily.
Honkey nut – we don’t want to step on Kalamunda’s toes with this one however gazing at a honkey nut will fill any Western Australian with a sense of nostalgic joy. Then painful memories. Oh god, the whistling before it all turns red. More on the joys of the honkey nut HERE.
Sandgroper – the phrase sandgroper is on the brink of irrelevance. Only uttered by a handful of over-50s at interstate footy games. However, it’s an endearing term that perfectly encapsulates Perth’s love of sand and building properties prone to erosion damage.
Boondie – perhaps a more poignant tribute to Perth’s love of sand would be a massive boondie. Made out of 100% real boondie. Anyone who got an extra solid one will know it can survive a bit of a battering. What an honour to have that smack you right in the eyes every morning. More on boondies HERE.
Conti Roll – when it comes to cooking Perth isn’t often known for food. However, the conti roll is a Perth original and we should rub that in the face of everyone who visits this fine city. Sadly, the exact contents of the big conti roll would attract too fierce a debate, we’d never get a consensus. More on Contis HERE.
Chunk of iron ore – a no brainer and probably more appropriate in the Pilbara but we have to remember the significance of the ore to Perth specifically. When we became the boomtown. Richest we’ve been and not a thing to show for it. WA went full FIFO and it was glorious.
MaxTrax / Snorkel- something to commemorate the unofficial city of dual cab/fourbys. It’s undeniably a WA weekend warrior obsessed and nothing shines brighter in the faux-culture than an unused MaxTrax collecting sun rays on your metro-mobile. Will also accept a snorkel. More on the culture HERE.
An actual chunk of Baysie – a crowd favourite. To be displayed at the very site of her execution. Never let truckies let their guard down. More on her HERE.
Pippy – it may not be a title we are proud of but being the ice capital of the world is an honour we keep winning. A big pippy in the CBD could be an interesting way to acknowledge that this is what Australia thinks of us.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
