“See, I wasn’t being dramatic!”, North Face devotee Mel loudly exclaimed as she rushed to share the news of Perth reclaiming the ice capital of Australia title.
For years, Mel has had to put up with comments that an arctic graded jacket was simply over the top for Perth’s climate. A city where winters often treat residents to 20-degree days.
However, she claims that she didn’t need the fact to be officially announced to know that it was true. She told The Times,
“Every morning I drive to work and I can’t see a thing out of the frost on my windscreen. Perth has a serious ice problem! Do you know how many cars I almost hit?”
Mel’s partner who shakes his head every time he sees her reach for the jacket in relatively mild weather was forced to eat some humble pie. He told The Times,
“There ya go, it’s official and I’m wrong. Perth is the iciest city in Australia and naturally, you can’t blame someone for wanting to protect themselves against the elements. I feel like such a fool”
Similarly, retail giant Aldi has decided to intensify its snow gear sale despite announcing it wasn’t going ahead earlier this year. A spokesperson for Aldi told The Times,
“We told you that Western Australians needed top-quality snow gear and not just to go on holidays. We can’t wait to see every child in Perth to pick up some gear and get on the ice. It’s their birthright now”
Meanwhile, a climate change sceptic and full-time boomer was forced to reassess his believes. Telling The Times,
“Ice in Perth? How peculiar! Even this time of year. I suppose I was wrong about climate change being a load of poppycock”
However, the announcement has irked a particularly iconic Western Australia – the Bluff Knoll Summit which claims that it is *clearly* the ice capital of WA.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
