1. Making Friends 

Sometimes friendships are like the diversity manager for the AFL, they get you when you’re not looking. Hear that guy talking loudly about how fucked up he is going to get at the full moon party? Well, he has spent $60 on airport piss and has just cracked open his duty free Beam, so you better believe he wants to chat. 

You don’t even need to be sitting next to him, he’ll just yell shit from wherever he is, and you can always join in on one of his fingered-cat renditions of Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Sounds pretty awesome right? Well guess what, there will be about 10 of them on every low cost airline flight. 

2. Prepare Yourself for Parenthood 

Aeroplanes are like the “international waters” for jurisdiction over children. The parents are happy to a adopt an “our kids, your problem” strategy while the flight attendants are powerless to stop the gooch-gremlins from kicking & screaming like they’re extras in a shit Kung Fu film. 

Trying to sleep while a child serenades the plane with the hits from Frozen is a great way to prepare yourself for parenthood, or more than likely, have you trying to sterilise yourself with a airline food tray. 

3. See More of the World

While the big companies like to show off with “engine maintenance” bullshit, the low cost airlines endeavor to be the lucky dip of aviation transport. If you are unlucky, you might end up at your destination like all those boring Qantas-fucks. If you are really lucky, you might end up wherever the plane can make it to before it goes down in a blaze of glory. 

Hey, you might not ever get a chance to have a cheeky getaway in sunny Port Hedland otherwise right? 

4. Ambition 

Drive in life is important, and nothing motivates you to just fucking do better in life than putting on half your suitcase because you cooked the weight limit and really don’t want to sell a kidney for an extra kilo of luggage. 

Or perhaps your eureka moment will be when you are stuck in a tiny seat between a mouth-breathing Hungry Jacks Whopper of a human and a snoring, flatulent cretin. Whatever it is, you will certainly be motivated to do better in life after a few low cost airline flights.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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