Alcoa has assured its shareholders that the process of closing and scrapping the Kwinana refinery will not be an economic burden to the company.
Typically, closing, scrapping and rehabilitating the site are expensive & time consuming endeavours. However, given the refinery’s unique location there is a more elegant solution.
A source told The Times,
“It’s simple, they just leave the gates & doors open, cancel the patrols and switch off the alarms and cameras, that baby will be completely devoured overnight by the good people of Kwinana”
Indeed, any swinging dick with a ute or trailer will swoop in to feast upon the sweet pickings available.
We spoke to one proud member of the Kwinny community who said he hoped to find equipment to help his own private enterprise. Adding,
“I’m somewhat of a scientist myself, even have my own lab, I reckon there would be tons of shit in that old building to help me refine my product, pun intended”
Less menacing characters are simply looking for some metal they can convert to cold hard cash. Either way you look at it, by just leaving it unguarded for one night, the company stands to save millions.
We asked a source close to Alcoa if the good people of Kwinana could help with the rehabilitation of the land. They told The Times,
“We’ll circulate a few rumours around Kwinny Hub that the soil under the refinery is basically paydirt, then anyone who can steal a bobcat will be there another night to scoop up the toxic sludge, out of sight out of mind, my man”
Well that certainly is diabolical.
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