Opportunists from around Perth have wasted no time feasting on the robust offerings from the Boorloo Bridge after news broke that the lighting cables were a tad weak.
In under 24 hours, the Boorloo Bridge has now been fully stripped of copper and other precious metals. A bit of a disaster for the repair crews.
We spoke to a Mandurah man who said he’d done quite well out of the shit-uation. Adding,
“One Government’s embarrassment is another scrappers’ opportunity. I wasn’t going to let it slide. All that copper is just sitting there. How delicious”
A source close to the WA Government says the costs of the repair have now blown out given the amount of precious metal that will need to be replaced. Adding,
“This isn’t like some light pole on the Kwinana Freeway, this is a big job, I suppose we can never say the good people of Perth aren’t industrious, incredible work ethic”
While the usual criminal element are being investigated, the police will also look at local tradies working in the area who may have also been tempted by the metallic whale drifting lifelessly onto the beach of a quick buck.
We spoke to one such tradie who was last seen with two fist fulls of pineapples in his hand laying reckless bets at a local front bar. Of course, in and of itself, this wasn’t suspicious but the fact he was calling himself the copper boss was. A witness told The Times,
“Yeah he 100% raided that bridge. Kept calling himself David Cop-a-feel as he did a magic trick where he got his dick out at the bar. Please look into him”
Sounds about right.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?