The entirety of Down South have made an impassioned plea to a Perth family to remain in the region after being reminded today that they wouldn’t survive without their personal tourism contribution.
In a rare show of solidarity, Down South convened an emergency meeting after the matriarch of the family accused a busy cafe of poor service for taking over 10 minutes to get their coffees done.
In an exclusive statement to The Times, Down South said,
“Today, Down South had its foundations rocked when Sharon & Ted might not be keen to spend another $20 at a local cafe due to the indignity of having to wait their turn. Clearly, this could mean the end of the Margaret River region so we are begging you Sharon & Ted, please don’t go, please stay, keep spending the bare minimum you can at every venue you go to. Please”
Alas, the family contacted The Times and said that maybe a bit of financial ruin is just what the region needed to actually appreciate what they brought to the table. Adding,
“I see the way they look at us. WE pay your wages. WE pay your rent. We OWN you. You would be NOTHING without our personal tourism contribution. Ted paid $12 for a bowl of chips, that kept YOUR lights on”
In addition to the $12 bowl of chips, it should be noted that Ted & Sharon stormed out of any winery demanding a tasting fee. A representative of one of the wineries told The Times,
“We could tell this was just the kind of family to maybe buy one bottle of our cheapest plonk. So we chased after them all the way down Caves Road begging them to come back! No tasting fee! Just please spend $20 and save us!!!”
Once again, the family said they should’ve kissed the ring and to enjoy insolvency.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?