A West Coast Eagles fan got a little carried away on the hard stuff this morning preparing for a diabolical 9:30 AWST fixture against Port Adelaide.
Witnesses at the scene saw the man attempt to order his 5th extra hot mugaccino with a crazed, over-caffeinated look in his eyes. Our witness added,
“Old mate was getting really worked up at the VFL and a Sunday morning game was blatant vic bias, I reckon it was the right call to cut him off, one more double shot of coffee and he could’ve shat himself”
We spoke to the fan who was still absolutely charging from his morning fix. He told The Times,
“What am I doing? Driving to watch my stupid kid play Auskick? How am I meant to watch an Eagles game without several bottles of chardy nicely chilled? I am going to follow that Dillon moron home”
Judging by the rapidly increasing amount of spittle in the sides of his mouth, we asked the fan if he’d had anything else other than mugaccinos. Perhaps some of that chardy he mentioned. He roared,
“DRINKING AT 9:30?? Well that’s bloody what the Vics are driving us to! Now son, be a good man and go get me another mugaccino, just to take the edge off would ya?”
After refusing, the boomer hassled other people in the car park in a state of pure fiendery.
Just another day at Dôme really.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?