There won’t be any sleep in Mandurah tonight as 100mm of rain stirred up the City’s notorious party-riddled wastewater this morning.
As the wastewater flooded onto the street, Mandurahians reported intense feelings of yew as the contact high from the water had them revved up and ready to go.
We spoke to a Mandurah resident who got splashed in the face by a heartless Patrol driver going through a puddle this morning. He’s already completed a full deep clean of his house and a 4 hour shadowboxing session in the mirror. He told us,
“Mate, where has this wastewater been all my life? Can you believe we just flush it away. FARKN YEWWWWW CUNNNNT”
We spoke to a wastewater expert who said Mandurah wastewater was some of the purest in the world. Adding,
“Mate, there’s enough ice floating on Mandurah streets at the moment to sink the Titanic, people are going to be going hard. Absolutely charging mate”
Some locals have even been emptying out jerry cans of diesel to horde the valuable wastewater that has a street value of around $150 a mm.
Not to mention the wastewater around Greenfields which is going for up to $500 a mm. With most agreeing it is the “Colombian of wastewater”.
We note that this isn’t different to any other weekend night in Mandurah.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?