An eventful day of sailing was ruined yesterday after members of the ticketless common class were observed sneaking a peak at the race through any vantage point they could.
Draped in fast fashion garbs and sucking tap water from Big W water bottles, the greasy masses peered through gaps in the fence to catch a glimpse of the race. Sickening, one must agree?
While no one has officially put their hand up to claim responsibility for the dome, it’s clear that it is there to serve one purpose – to protect ticket holders from the plebian gazes.
We spoke to a ticket holder who said their entire day was ruined just by knowing a freeloader was getting some entertainment for free. They told The Times,
“Surely they would’ve been more comfortable in their rental duplex, sitting on some dilapidated couch with their cretinous breedlings? Why come down to Freo and bother us! I paid $400!”
A source close to SailGP said the measures were all part of ticket holder comfort. Adding that the stench of Lynx and ultra processed food can be very distressing to one dressed in Ralph Lauren. Adding,
“It’s a weekend, why aren’t these people at the zoo where they belong? At least the beasts behind those barriers are accustomed to their unique odour?”
That’s a very good point.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?