The WA Government has decided to call off the $1.6B redevelopment of the Perth Convention Centre and replace it with a more thrifty option.
As per its announcement, the WA Government intends to whack a Stratco flatpack shed where the Convention Centre currently stands. A spokesperson told The Times,
“We can all agree that the current Convention centre is a bit of a steaming pile of shit but obviously we wanted to divert funds to the health crisis. So we found a most elegant solution. We found some guy on Gumtree who reckons he can do it for a couple of slabs of Chook too”
The works on the new shed are expected to commence as soon as the current Convention Centre is torn down.
However, the Government has ideas on that too. With the spokesperson adding,
“We think if we just stopped planned maintenance that bad boy will come down on its own within maybe like a month. So that issue will kinda work itself out”
Obviously, this is a big win for Stratco and its competitors are fuming they got such a lucrative contract.
A source close to Colorbond told The Times,
“The WA Government told us that Colorbond didn’t work in the CBD as its far more associated with the hellish slums of the outer suburban sprawl. A sandy, hot house & land package where you can hear your neighbours shit. That’s the Colorbond experience, they reckon”
Can’t wait for the upgraded shed.
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