Perth residents have reacted decisively to the clickbait fear mongering of the usual suspects. While the chances of Ex-Tropical Cyclone Narelle hitting Perth in any meaningful way is low, it doesn’t mean one shouldn’t prepare.
To that end, thousands of Perth residents have begun stocking up on everything needed to make it through a weekend of blowy conditions. We spoke to Rob who said he’d just returned from his second trip from the bottlo,
“Couldn’t fit it all into the car on the first trip so I went back, that’s the sort of dedication I am showing to preparing for Narelle. I will not run out of beer half way through the weekend. Not on my watch”
Similarly, local sesh rat and late night baker Jai has already seen a man about a baggie-shaped dog. He said his plan was to remain very alert throughout the weekend, adding,
“I don’t plan on sleeping, let’s put it that way, that’s how the cyclone gets ya”
Naturally, authorities have urged Perth residents to relax and have confirmed it is highly unlikely one will need enough piss to get Barnaby Joyce through Xmas day. With a source close to emergency services telling The Times,
“You won’t be house bound, we really don’t expect the cyclone to hit Perth like that, it will bring a cold front on the tail end, that’s likely about it. Rethink panic buying Cruisers”
Well that puts it into perspective.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?