Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the Metallica moshpit.
Despite the average age of punters, there were reports that lungs were being generously filled with all manner of heated up delights.
We spoke to a FIFO worker who said he was probably going to take a week off just to be safe. Adding,
“If it could be smoked it was getting smoked in that pit. Pretty sure some guys were lighting up the crystal pistol too. Work will think I went on some mega bender!”
Not everyone was upset though. We managed to speak to Thommo who said he was pretty annoyed he didn’t get anything sorted for the concert but managed to get mashed enough with the second hand smoke. He told The Times,
“YEWWWW we got there in the end cunny, I didn’t get hectic but pretty good for free ay, ha ha, well I say that but I still ain’t slept so yeah maybe Thommo is failing another piss test”
Due to the sheer amount of funny smelling vapors, authorities have extended the possible contamination area to well outside the actual pit.
A spokesperson for said authorities told The Times,
“Yeah honestly, even if you were driving past on Graham Farmer, I’d probably skip work for a week or maybe just squirt Gatorade into the cup, we dunno, just be careful”
Fair warning.