When Gen Z aren’t sitting around thinking up new names to call old behaviours, they are throwing themselves into the faux-high-on-life world of coffee raves. At least some of them.
While the concept itself comes off performative and weird, the real problem that the older generations have with the gatherings is the use of the rave word.
The Times is here to assure you that while TikToking yourself drinking coffee to a generic DJ set in the morning sounds a far cry from the filthy, bass-riddled Ambar dungeon with pinga-filled shelf, there is one important similarity – a toilet is going to get absolutely obliterated.
We spoke to a Gen Z coffee raver who said the effects of pre-rave run club and a double espresso caused quite a stir. Adding,
“There was a line to the only cafe toilet and it was giving sewage treatment plant. Just one horrific deposit after another fr”
Yes, just like the pinga-shits and mitsi-spews, the next generation was at least combining electronic music and unspeakable acts committed against porcelain.
One old raver said he was actually slightly proud of the kids after hearing this. Adding,
“Yeah look, I think I am allergic to hearing about coffee shop raves, the whole idea sickens me but at least they are going through the rite of passage of using a toilet straight out of Trainspotting. That counts for something”
Rave well, young bucks.
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