Santa has pulled the pin on Gero after reading reports it could hit 42 on Xmas Eve and 43 degrees on Xmas Day. Meaning, the region is going to be pretty farken hot over the next couple of days.
The jolly giver of gifts reportedly did a quick take 5 and told his reindeers that “cuntsfucked” and he couldn’t be farked.
The extreme heat combined with the very real possibility of encountering some hot & bothered, sleep deprived Geraldton residents was deemed a significant hazard.
A spokesperson for Santa told The Times,
“Look, Gero is on thin ice as it is, pun not excused. Do you know what it’s like going into a Gero house expecting people to actually be asleep? Doesn’t happen, they are wide awake and not too pleased you didn’t bring anymore gear with you”
Initially Santa’s Union rep told the coastal City that he might go through with the journey for a significant amount of danger pay. However, negotiations quickly broke down when the City refused to pay for the traditionally free service.
Children in Gero will be disappointed with the outcome however safety always comes first.