1. You reckon you are the most qualified person to make decisions about your kid’s health
You may not have any “qualifications” or “degrees” but you have read plenty of uncited FACTS on memes and websites that post in full comic sans. Therefore you are the exact kind of person who should be making those big “doctory” decisions on behalf of the vulnerable.
Oh, and your yoga-mate reckons she fully cured her cancer from drinking nothing but activated kale kombucha and smashing cayenne pepper enemas. Checkmate, science, piss off with your medical coercion.
2. You come crawling back to the health system when your kid gets sick
Every good crystal healer knows that the health system is obliged to clean up the mess their pseudo-science nutbaggery causes.
It can’t be said that you didn’t fight the good fight, I mean, you let your kid get pretty sick before someone threatened to get authorities involved and you let the big pharma shills save them. Even a broken clock is right twice a day hey?
3. You are liberated from the burden of understanding science
You read a quote once, “science is the opiate of the people”, or some shit. Vaccines may have reduced the death rate from preventable diseases by a clinically significant amount, however you read an article about some family who reckoned a vaccine gave their kid polio. Science disagreed, but you know the truth.
It boils your blood when people who paid attention in science class throw around elitist words like “peer reviewed”. Yeh good words sheeple, but just wait until you drop the “herd immunity” bomb out of context in a FB thread fight. BOOM!
4. You know the TRUTH about big pharma
When you put your tin foil hat on and educate the sheeple you even make the creators of Zeitgeist feel woke. What IS a doctor? What IS a pharmacist? What IS a national health strategy to eliminate preventable disease? Exactly, just a bunch of big pharma fuckos that couldn’t realign their Chakra if their new set of healing crystals depended on it.
It make perfect sense, the Government meets up with all the pharma giants in an underground lair somewhere and plots how they are going to inject unsafe chemicals into a generation of children for reasons that even Fox Mulder doesn’t believe are out there.