Perth Man Vows To Drive Himself Into Financial Ruin Before Taking Bus To Work

No”, Jackson responded to his partner’s 15 minute impassioned plea to release some pressure from the family budget by relying on a little public transport why fuel prices are so high. 

Sandra suggested that if they alternate days on public transport they’d save a bit of money compared to two cars driving every day. Reassuring Jackon that it was just a temporary solution and he wouldn’t have to become a “bus person”, as Jackson puts it. 

See, Jackon makes up a majority of Perth who has severe bus & trainphobia caused by decades of substandard services, particularly in the outer suburbs. 

We caught up with Jackson who was considering leaving his partner of 10 years for having the audacity of even suggesting he rely on a bus to get to work. He told us, 

“Yeah, what she isn’t telling you is it’s actually two buses. I’d rather trek to Mordor than work out the logistics of two TransPerth buses. I think she said something about getting to work in 45 minutes. What have I done to deserve this?”

Jackson was getting more and more fired up with each sentence. Continuing, 

“It’s not even that much fucken cheaper mate, like kinda but I’ll still be forking out like $10 a day. Ten whole fucken dollars to deal with little scrotes blaring music from their phones and seats covered in piss”

However, Sandra found an unlikely ally with one of Jackson’s mates who catches the train from Aubin Grove to the City every morning. He told us,

“Yeah, I never thought I’d catch public transport again but it was alright, ay. Pretty cruisy, I just listen to some tunes. Better than getting stuck in the Freeway traffic every day. We even play this fun game on the train where no one moves down the corridor haha, people lose their minds, it’s sensational”

Jackson immediately cut ties with the man. Telling us, 

“He wants to compare one train to 2 or maybe 3 buses? I knew I couldn’t trust that bloke. As I told Sandra, I’ll wear myself down into complete financial ruin before I ever step foot on a bus in this city again”

That’s Jackson for ya. 

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