The Trumpinator 2000 is on a mission to sow chaos across the globe and is demanding his allies help chip in to a war they never agreed to enter.
To that end, Trump has begged the sunny city of Perth, Western Australia, to send its most fearsome seafaring vessel to the Strait of Hormuz to help unblock the strategic oil route.
That’s right, Trump is begging Perth to send the legendary floating party cube otherwise known as the Crystal Swan. Some are calling the plea desperate as America should have got its military ducks in a row before throwing down with Iran.
Now, if you thought the Crystal Swan was just a place for year 10 formals and mild heatstroke then you’d be ignorant and wrong. It is in fact one of the world’s finest water mine detecting cubes and could prove instrumental in the Strait of Hormuz.
We spoke to a source high up in the Westralian military who told The Times,
“The Cube is actually under the governance of the emu battalion after they seized it during a small uprising last year. So even if Perth did want to send its high-level equipment it couldn’t right now, despite that indestructible beauty bumbling its way into every mine in that damn Strait”
A spokesemu echoed the sentiments and said the floating party cube would not be deployed at this time.
The emus have spoken.
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