Brett, 42, from Scarborough has watched the heroic actions of young Austin and has confirmed that the young champion is made from the same sort of stuff he is.
Not only does Brett reckon he could definitely swim 4km in choppy seas and then run for another 2km to get help, but he also reckons he could beat the young lad’s time.
We spoke to Brett who notably hasn’t done a single meaningful session of exercise in about 15 years – in fact, he is well known for recently shitting himself during a game of golf. He told us,
“The boy reminds me of me, ya know? There are just certain individuals who can break through the pain, break through the fear and do amazing things, I’d like to welcome him to the exclusive club”
The bravado is in stark contrast to the “respiratory distress” Brett demonstrated at Xmas when he was forced to honour tip-n-run during a game of backyard cricket. As his partner described,
“Swim 4km? I don’t think Brett could float 4km. I love him but honestly he’s such a FIGJAM and probably one of the most unfit people to don a Quiksilver shirt and that’s saying something in Scabs”
Despite reality, we understand that Brett will be very animated during his daily 7 pint session today as he reenacts exactly what he would’ve done just a little bit better.
On’ya Brett.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?