A joint taskforce into Alcoa’s tree cutting shitcuntery in the Northern Jarrah Forest has been launched between State and Federal environmental authorities.
Fearing the $55 million fine was a fell in the forest for Alcoa, the taskforce decided to “go nuclear” on the American mining giant and put up a deterrent not even they would dare disobey.
Yep, a giant tree vandalism sign has been installed in the Northern Jarrah Forest to ensure Alcoa don’t gets to thinking they can pull off this kind of skullduggery again. A spokesperson for the taskforce told The Times,
“We reckon this sign is much more powerful than a commercially significant fine. They’ll have to look at it every day and feel very, very bad. We think this is a much more powerful way to motivate them than a fine that would destroy shareholder value and hit them where it hurts”
And to say it has worked is an understatement. We spoke to a source close to Alcoa who said the sign was just the wake up call they needed. Adding,
“Shit, I think we underestimated the teeth in this regulatory tiger. We will certainly evaluate our business model of asking for forgiveness rather than permission. I mean look at it, it’s an official sign!”
We can report that at the time of publishing this article, Alcoa has made some very serious inquiries into perhaps looking at the possibility of engaging an expert to do a pre-feasibility study into a full feasibility study into the hypothetical program to plant some Jarrah trees in the area they decimated.
That’s progress, baby!
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