“The Tractor Boys are on”, Ed loudly exclaimed as he ordered another “Laaaagerrrr” when it was “his turn to get the beers in” at the OBH today.
The public were under no delusions it was the British pop star despite him blending in seamlessly with all the other backpackers who had rolled the dice and lost against the harsh Perth sun.
We spoke to a young Western Suburbs girl who offered Ed some of her fancy La Roche sunscreen although admitting it was probably a bit late for preventative measures. She told The Times,
“OMG the heat was radiating off him and he kept rambling on about how the Blues were going to be promoted back to the Premier League and those Norwich City mugs were shit but their birds are fit, I dunno he was chanting a lot”
After getting a few more lagers in, Ed was also overheard regaling some other British backpackers with hints and tricks to bypass Australia’s ruthless fruit picking Visa system. A witness told us,
“Ed has done it all, won Grammys, sold paintball skirmishes and he’s even completed only a few hours of fruit picking and secured a second visa. He’s honestly like the posterboy of British tourists”
Ed’s team were pretty keen to get the singer back to his hotel to help ease the intense red hue over his body before tonight’s show.
However, having a taste of what life is like for a Brit in Perth, all Ed wanted to do was move his show to Northbridge and end up in a K-Hole in a shared dormitory at one of Perth’s lovely hostels.
That’s the true Brit experience.