Flagmantle fan, Bryce, is currently trying to manifest a random notification from myGov as he believes that dealing with that can of worms would be considerably less stressful than thinking about the Bulldogs game.
If Freo beat the Dogs they’ll have a guaranteed spot in the finals. If they lose they’ll have to rely on the mighty Essendon footy club beating Gold Coast – which after the Port humiliation seems unlikely.
Accordingly, there’s nothing more the Flagmantle fan wants than to delve deep into the stressful existential hell of wondering what the myGov wants from him. Maybe a delicious little audit, that sounds like a dream right now.
We spoke to Bryce who said he was partaking in numerous other activities to take his mind off it. Adding,
“I’ve been playing Mario Kart a lot. There is something about being 10 seconds from the finishing line when my brat son picks up a blue shell that is very comforting right now. I’m also considering booking a BASE jump”
Only yesterday, he intentionally threw himself into the Charles St section of the Freeway during peakhour. He added,
“Battling to get across all those lanes in peak hour was a walk in the park in comparison to thinking about the prospects of missing out on finals again. It’s not going to be easy to beat the Dogs in Melbourne, even if we did gather their training secrets yesterday”
His brother, an avid Eagles fan, has no such stress.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?