France has observed the growing tension between America & Australia over steel tariffs and has taken its opportunity to attempt a submarine strongarming.
Today in a statement supplied to The Times, France states that if Australia carries on with this macabre AUKUS sub charade it will hit us where it hurts. Adding,
“Without French backpackers, Margaret River stops. To paraphrase a common Australian saying. This is true of many tourist regions but especially your precious Margaret River. So be a country of your word and come back to France, our subs are better anyway”
The threat has sent shockwaves through Canberra as the nation’s political powerhouse knows it behoves them to keep WA happy. An insider told The Times,
“A lot of WA politicians enjoy going down south and if they have to deal with staff shortages and wait longer for their coffee heads will roll. You can’t rely on Aussies to actually work!”
We spoke to a French backpacker who told us that he very much hopes Australia keeps its word. Adding,
“The waves are just that good. We can tolerate serving you people all year just so we are near them. Please don’t force our Government to send us to Canada, it’s cold and the French don’t like having to hear sorry all the time. The French don’t apologise”
Well there you go. Balls in your court Australia.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?