Kmart has broken down in tears this week after admitting the name it’d worked so hard to build good will around was now just a bit of a joke around the retail consumer market.
“We realise what we are“, a Kmart executive said as he promised to “cut the crap” and rebrand the entire company as simply Anko – their in-house brand.
An industry insider told The Times,
“There was a time when 99% of Kmart’s stock wasn’t just cheap Anko shit but that time is not now. I think rebranding as plain Anko is an important step forward in brand self awareness. What else are you going there for?”
We asked Kmart whether they were also considering renaming Target as Anko. A spokesperson told The Times,
“There are still Target shoppers that want to feel like they are superior to Kmart shoppers even though the stock is pretty much the same now. So that transition will occur much slower but yes, we are under no delusions as to what Target is now either”
Well done Kmart. As for putting the checkouts at the front of the store like a normal fkn company, they said, “no“.
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