The daring thieves behind a heist at the Louvre has reportedly set their sights on an even more grandiose payday, right here in little old Perth.
Sources close to the bandits say that while the priceless jewels stolen were nice, what they really wanted to get their grubby mitts on was Alan Bond’s gold bathroom.
However, such a caper won’t be as easy as bamboozling some art gallery staff. With one security expert telling The Times,
“Not even Indiana Jones could get to Bondy’s toilet. That’s the most expensive room in Perth and contains only the finest plated gold. They are dreaming”
Of course, other experts say that the thieves may simply pretend to have a meeting with someone on Level 51 and gain access once in a boardroom.
To pull this off, the thieves will have to blend in on the Terrace the best they can. Accordingly, police are monitoring all R.M Williams outlets around the clock. With a police spokesperson telling The Times,
“If they want to pull this off they’ll have to rock a brand spankin’ set of Terrace Tactical Boots. We have also stationed men at all major retailers stocking chinos or printing lanyards”
While the heist could be carried out the real problem arises when it comes to selling Bondy’s gold plated taps and shit.
Obviously, the target market for such garish abominations will be the mediterranean market. However, the thieves may find themselves locked into the toughest barter of their lives.
Some are asking if the heist is even worth it given the excruciating experience involved in selling them.
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