Last time Mariah Carey was in Perth she reportedly had the time of her life at Northbridge’s premier cougar dive The Elephant & Wheelbarrow.
Sadly, the den of mature aged lust closed in 2017 but no one saw fit to tell Mariah Carey that.
A source close to the famous diva says that if she’d known The Elephant & Wheelbarrow had closed she never would’ve agreed to perform in this backwater hicktown. Adding,
“She’s not taking it well. We’ve had Pitbull by her door pleading with her to open it for the past 4 hours. He says he’s also devastated given he fits the aesthetic of 90% of the former clientele and would fit in nicely”
The situation got even more tense when Mariah demanded to know what had replaced the Cougar Cathedral. Our source continued,
“When we told her it was a mini golf themed bar she demanded to be taken straight to the airport. Someone tried to lighten the mood by saying at least the venue was still all about nailing multiple holes in a night. That didn’t go well”
The question still remains whether Mariah will proceed with tonight’s show. No doubt learning of the closure will weigh heavy on her heart.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?