A red shoe wearing, Muay Thai training, bloke who claims to know 1%’ers from Midland awoke with glee this morning after finding what he thought was top quality ice across his windscreen.
For a fleeting but beautiful moment he had it all figured out. Bag up his windfall, then he’d get the Harley, then he’d get the nomination, then he’d get respect he’s due. Alas, it was just below 0
After thanking the gear gods, he got a nagging feeling that he was missing something and went to check his phone. Only to reveal the sub 0 temperatures. He told The Times,
“Sometimes a bloke can’t get a break ay, thought I’d finally have something to bring to the boys and they wouldn’t just make fun of me, we’re all mates but, I’ll probably be nominated soon ay”
While it was only a fleeting moment of joy, a lot went through his head. He continued,
“I was going to flip the product and get decked out in fresh Hoodrich apparel and probably some new Versace sunnies, man I was going to look sic, I also wasn’t gonna sleep for about 2 weeks ha ha”
Alas, the man claimed he had places to be and in his haste to defrost his windscreen, he decided to pour boiling water over it.
He is now very much down on the ledger.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?