The Albanese Government is celebrating another triumph this morning as hundreds of under 16s ditch trading barbs over socials for good ol fashion scuffling at the Galleria bus station.
It’s a much purer and healthier conflict resolution model. Rather than lengthy online pile ons and cyber bullying, kids meet at the bus stop, wrestle around like tools for a few minutes while getting filmed and then those fight videos sent around via wholesome mediums like email or sms.
We spoke to a Galleria biffo expert who said nature was healing. Adding,
“When you need to settle a score you don’t always have time to wait for a notification. These kids are practicing the tried & tested model of embarrassing yourself in front of your peers at a bus station after school. That teaches far more life lessons than making a snarky comment on someone’s TikTok”
We spoke to a kid called Bailey who said his beef with a fellow student over who was the first person to bring the 6-7 meme to school was settled in a few hours. Rather than several months via the old social media method. He told The Times,
“We had the argument at lunch and then by 4 pm we were friends again by 4pm. You really bond while fleeing seccos together and being called little shits by a bus driver”
Galleria is also thrilled that the youth has returned to their hallowed turf. While they often don’t make any monetary contribution to the businesses, they do provide a helpful crowd to remind people that the shopping centre is actually still running.
It’s undeniable the social media ban is working.
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