A likely consequence of the Pornocalypse has been a major boost in the productivity of tradesman who are though to spend over half their day showing their workmates horrible lewd videos they’d found on the internet.
To showcase just how dramatic this boost in productivity has been, Main Roads WA has proudly announced that the new Freo Traffic Bridge is now fully completed – yes a whole year ahead of schedule (or more likely several years).
This is a major win for the WA Government who were just waiting for the media attack dogs to have a whinge once the major infrastructure project was delayed by a single day.
We spoke to a tradie on site who said it was good to see something going up fast because his flongwoody sure wasn’t. Adding,
“Mate, I’ve never seen so many of the boys locked in like this. It really made me think about how much greasy shit we watch and whether it’s holding us back from our true potential”
He went on to assure us that this uncharacteristic work ethic won’t continue and the very second they reinstate access to the sites he will be freeing willy and you’d want to steer well clear of the blowhole.
We can also report that all the roadworks on Tonkin Highway have been completed and the Airport is unfucked.
Happy days we can all agree.