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Sunday, May 11, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    WA man trades in future prospects in dating pool for an obnoxious yank tank

    A WA man has made a conscious decision to remove himself from the WA dating pool by purchasing an oversized yank tank that describes itself…

    Belle May 11, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local cat mum feeling the love after fur baby drops off brekkie in bed this Mother’s Day

    “See, she does love me!” Celeste loudly exclaimed from her bed this morning after her cat dropped a succulent meal of freshly slaughtered bird on…

    Belle May 11, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    New Pope just elected in an Ellenbrook carpark judging by the colour of the smoke billowing out

    What a joyous day for Catholics! Two Popes selected by a rigorous conclave process and indicated to the world via a plume of white smoke.…

    Belle May 9, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Pope Leo XIV to make pilgrimage to Kelmscott to bless Red Roota’s spiritual home

    In one of Pope Leo XIV first acts as the new Pope, the holy man will be visiting Kelmscott to bless a location that he…

    Belle May 9, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Newly elected Pope uses maiden speech to call for peace amongst the Fremantle Dockers supporter base 

    Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost aka Pope Leo XIV has shocked the world by using his first chance to speak to his followers to plead for…

    Belle May 9, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Basil Zempilas to officially get the keys to the WA Liberal Party Tarago

Belle March 25, 2025

In another incredibly unsurprising turn of events, Baz is set to be me made the official Liberal Party leader at the next meeting. This, of…

View More Basil Zempilas to officially get the keys to the WA Liberal Party Tarago
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

People who prefer Shepard avocados to be put on Government Watchlist

Belle March 24, 2025

The Australian Government has boldly implemented a new plan to protect its citizens from encounters with Shepard-loving-sickos. The plan comes in the form of a…

View More People who prefer Shepard avocados to be put on Government Watchlist
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Regional WA schools eye-off brand spankin’ projectors after Albo’s funding pledge 

Belle March 24, 2025

Regional schools all across WA are salivating at the prospect of picking up a fresh overhead projector after Albo announced he would fully fund public…

View More Regional WA schools eye-off brand spankin’ projectors after Albo’s funding pledge 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Western Derby Trophy replaced with a wooden spoon to reflect what’s really at stake

Belle March 23, 2025

In a radical move, instead of the tradition of giving the winner of the Western Derby a winning trophy, the loser of next week’s match…

View More Western Derby Trophy replaced with a wooden spoon to reflect what’s really at stake
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Elite private school parents demand compensation for having to travel to the City of Armadale for the Head of the River

Belle March 22, 2025

PSA rowing parents have once again been forced to make the pilgrimage to Champion Lakes, in the City of Armadale to watch their siverspoonlings complete…

View More Elite private school parents demand compensation for having to travel to the City of Armadale for the Head of the River
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

ACCC recommends Woolworths be stripped of its nickname until it redeems itself to the Aussie public

Belle March 21, 2025

The ACCC Inquiry has made a bold recommendation in its inquiry findings after being personally aggrieved by the retail giant. It is understood that members…

View More ACCC recommends Woolworths be stripped of its nickname until it redeems itself to the Aussie public

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TRENDING NEWS

  • WA man trades in future prospects in dating pool for an obnoxious yank tank
  • Local cat mum feeling the love after fur baby drops off brekkie in bed this Mother’s Day
  • New Pope just elected in an Ellenbrook carpark judging by the colour of the smoke billowing out
  • Pope Leo XIV to make pilgrimage to Kelmscott to bless Red Roota’s spiritual home
  • Newly elected Pope uses maiden speech to call for peace amongst the Fremantle Dockers supporter base 
  • Cardinals complain of unsolicited texts from H Fong ahead of conclave to elect next pope

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