A collective sigh from the population of Japan was heard after news broke that the Aussie dollar was surging and was approaching its strongest against the Yen in decades.
It was truly depressing news for the long suffering population of Japan who knew a strengthened Aussie dollar against the Yen could only mean one more thing – exponential amounts of snow vomit.
The collective sigh was so intense that it was actually detected by several space stations. We spoke to a representative of outer space who told The Times,
“Yeah, it was almost like every single Japanese citizen looked at their phone and saw the news break all at once. This will be very distressing news for them, they knew it meant an avalanche of bogans who thought they were too cultured for Bali now”
With greater spendering power comes greater entitlement and of course in turn the patience of the Japanese people will be tested. We spoke to Baz who said he was excited to hit the mountains again,
“Farrrrken yewwwww, up the Aussie dollar! Man, you know their drinks cost fark all and come in 9%? Last time I shat myself on the chair lift ay ha ha ha, clean that up kents!”
As a result, Japanese authorities have released an emergency warning to all citizens to expect incoming Australians. With one official telling The Times,
“We really hope we can show an Australian our Japanese brand of criminal justice. Please keep trying us. Please”
Well that sounds ominous. At least Suntory are happy with the news… but at what cost?
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?