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Monday, November 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Australia reveals plan to seize Fred Again’s passport and force him to plug every music festival sized hole in the Nation

Belle March 27, 2024

Australia has revealed a bold plan after hearing reports that yet another music festival, Splendour in the Grass has gone the way of the DoDo. …

View More Australia reveals plan to seize Fred Again’s passport and force him to plug every music festival sized hole in the Nation
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

Qantas releases premium “all engines working” flights for cashed-up customers

Belle March 26, 2024

Travellers will now be able to choose a Qantas flight based on the number of engines they can guarantee will see out the duration of…

View More Qantas releases premium “all engines working” flights for cashed-up customers
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local Regional

9 Tips To Help You Transition From Regional WA To Perth

Belle March 25, 2024 Down SouthUp North

Police are different down here – now back home you had it sweet. The local copper has watched multiple generations of your family navigate the perils…

View More 9 Tips To Help You Transition From Regional WA To Perth
Bell Tower Times From the Zoo

12 Elite Ways To Ruin Your Easter Long Weekend

Belle March 25, 2024

Find love in the Thursday arvo Uncle Dan’s Stampede – Good Friday Eve is a special time when bottlo staff gets to feel like they are…

View More 12 Elite Ways To Ruin Your Easter Long Weekend
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Perth fam looking forward to a relaxing 4 days of heaving crowds, stress and traffic jams this Easter

Belle March 25, 2024 DouthWA Culture

A WA family can’t wait to dive ballsdeep into their Easter long weekend in what will no doubt be a horror show of stressful fast-cationing…

View More Perth fam looking forward to a relaxing 4 days of heaving crowds, stress and traffic jams this Easter
Reckons Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

Public Transport Etiquette 101

Belle March 24, 2024

Just stop doing the following: 1. Don’t play Aussie hip hop through your stolen phone, you’re not a DJ you’re an idiot (read more HERE)…

View More Public Transport Etiquette 101

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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