Perth Accountant Prepares For Annual “Friends Remember I Exist” Season

There’s always a buzz in the air around the EOFY. When Adam’s phone changes from a deserted island to a regular Ibiza summer with non stop good vibes from friends & family who suddenly remember he exists. Coincidently, of course. 

He always loves to rekindle friendships from people who have neglected him all year. Nothing excites him more than the 10 minutes of forced pleasantries over messenger of facetime until they reveal their true, taxy intentions. 

Having to silence the non-stop notifications hitting his phone, Adam told The Times,

“My favourite is this bloke Todd who I played some indoor soccer with. Last year I agreed to look at his dog’s breakfast of a tax return and he promised me a carton and an invite out on his boat when the weather warmed up. Well I’m still thirsty and I haven’t been on a boat this year”

Once again Todd is fearing the intrusive rod of an audit skewering his mid-year plans and has decided to reach out to Adam to lay some groundwork. He told The Times,

“Mate, Alan is the shiz. He got me back like $2000 and even gave some advice on some boring fund to consider investing in. I blew the lot on a trip to Bali. Yew, got fully de Goey’d I was meant to thank him but that’s the thing about Alan he does it because he loves counting beans”

Adam’s own sister also has decided to begin meaningful conversations with her brother given the time of year. She told The Times,

“It’s so strange how like, all year he is this boring Keto cyclist kinda dude but come mid-year he’s a rock star. You can see how he swaggers down St Georges Terrace, he knows everyone wants a big piece of his taxation expertise. If we weren’t related by blood!”

Adam admits that some people calling his phone might only be using him for their tax returns but at this stage of his accounting life he’ll “take what he can get”. Adding,

“You meet a girl at a bar in January and you tell her you’re an accountant, do you think the conversation continues? Tell her you’re an accountant at the end of June though and that’s 15 minutes of interest guaranteed right there. I’m OK with it”

Getting audited is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?