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Friday, May 09, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    New Pope just elected in an Ellenbrook carpark judging by the colour of the smoke billowing out

    What a joyous day for Catholics! Two Popes selected by a rigorous conclave process and indicated to the world via a plume of white smoke.…

    Belle May 9, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Pope Leo XIV to make pilgrimage to Kelmscott to bless Red Roota’s spiritual home

    In one of Pope Leo XIV first acts as the new Pope, the holy man will be visiting Kelmscott to bless a location that he…

    Belle May 9, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Newly elected Pope uses maiden speech to call for peace amongst the Fremantle Dockers supporter base 

    Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost aka Pope Leo XIV has shocked the world by using his first chance to speak to his followers to plead for…

    Belle May 9, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Cardinals complain of unsolicited texts from H Fong ahead of conclave to elect next pope

    The Catholic Church is demanding answers after its cardinals were bombarded with thousands of unsolicited texts calling for the election of Clive Palmer as pope.…

    Belle May 7, 2025
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  • Featured From the Zoo

    IN FOCUS: The HSV Maloo Ute

    Say what you want about Holden but they knew exactly how to build the kind of beast that your average high-income WA FIFO worker would…

    Belle May 5, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

West Coast Eagles forced to install a Mitchell-proof fence around Mineral Resources Park 

Belle April 2, 2025

The West Coast Eagles have taken immediate action against repeated raids by former AFL player and current coach of the Hawks – Sam “Judas” Mitchell. …

View More West Coast Eagles forced to install a Mitchell-proof fence around Mineral Resources Park 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

An honest review of Perth tap water

Belle April 1, 2025

Let’s talk Western Australian tap water. Some people say it tastes like Aquaman’s precumies after a regrettable night with a garden of sea anemones. We’ve…

View More An honest review of Perth tap water
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Travel

Local weeb wants you bogans to know he was going to Japan before it was popular

Belle April 1, 2025

A Western Australian weeb or “anime-enthusiast” as he prefers to be called has launched an extraordinary attack on his fellow countrymen. Witnesses observed the fedora-clad…

View More Local weeb wants you bogans to know he was going to Japan before it was popular
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

BREAKING: Woolworths and Coles Admit to the Lot!

Belle April 1, 2025

In a move no one saw coming, Woolworths and Coles have released an extraordinary joint statement today copping the lot. From price gouging customers during…

View More BREAKING: Woolworths and Coles Admit to the Lot!
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day In the Life Of A West Coast Supporter

Belle March 31, 2025 A Day In The Life OfAFLFooty

8:00 am – wake up and enjoy the brief flutter of time before I remember the never-ending nightmare. Groan as I battle another rage-hangover after…

View More A Day In the Life Of A West Coast Supporter
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

Bloke swaps goose that lays golden eggs for a regular hen as egg prices soar

Belle March 31, 2025

A Perth bloke who had the good fortune of coming across a goose that lays golden eggs has reevaluated his business model amid the soaring…

View More Bloke swaps goose that lays golden eggs for a regular hen as egg prices soar

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TRENDING NEWS

  • New Pope just elected in an Ellenbrook carpark judging by the colour of the smoke billowing out
  • Pope Leo XIV to make pilgrimage to Kelmscott to bless Red Roota’s spiritual home
  • Newly elected Pope uses maiden speech to call for peace amongst the Fremantle Dockers supporter base 
  • Cardinals complain of unsolicited texts from H Fong ahead of conclave to elect next pope
  • IN FOCUS: The HSV Maloo Ute
  • Fremantle Dockers appoint Peter Dutton coach for his ability to shut down the opposition

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  • IN FOCUS: The HSV Maloo Ute
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  • Man’s hunter-gatherer ancestors roll in their grave after he buys rosemary from supermarket
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